What a year

dah 5hari menjengah tahun baru. dah basi dah cerita tahun 2011. dah tahun lepas. yet sume masih jelas kot. paling byk cerita tahun lepas.

Jan: umumkan secara rasminya TTC. watpe nk malu, kita bukan buat benda jahatkan. sebelum ni walaupun TTC, tp secara senyap2. mungkin sbb aku malu?

Feb: ectopic pregnancy. + 5in1 procedure. first time masuk bilik bedah, first time kene bedah, first time rasa sakitnye ya Allah kene potong! first time rasa dunia ni upside down dalam sekelip mata. kun fayakun. masyallah! rasa betapa sayang dan kasihnya suami, mcmmana air mata menitik waktu nk kene tolak masuk ward. first time rasa dekat sgt dgn kematian. Allah! terbuka biji mata dgn dosa2 yg banyak dan amalan yg sikit. betul org kata, dah sakit br igt tuhan. true! sgt!

March: dalam proses utk heal. tho i believe i am a champ sbb mampu buat semua sendrik. dan start jadik takut dgn doc, hospital, clinic. bukan ape. sekali kene belah, agak2 takut tak? hahaha. dan jadik extra cautious about my health.

April: TTC dgn sgt kuatnya. hahahhaha. gile. first time given clomid as doc nampak telur2 aku sume kecik2. tak besar2 langsung. in which, tak bole jadik anak langsung. sedey.

May: telur membesar dgn jayanya. but sadly, takde rezeki.

June: abg kene kayap. owh my. doc kate, a BIG NO-NO. NO BABYDANCING watsoever. hahahaha

July: i was diagnosed with gout. in which, telur2 sume tak matang due to kesakitan yg di alami. ok. sekalik lagik tak menjadi cycle. sedey. doc pun geleng2 pala, nape la mcam2 yg menimpa.

August: rasa mcm nk give up ttc. puasa, then raya, dan seperti biasa dihujani dgn pertanyaan2 tak berasas dan tak berotak dari org tidak beragama.

September: mmg rasa nk give up ttc. sbb august doc kate telur matang, yet kuar gak period, sehari. perut rasa mmg tak sedap. tp malas nk wat upt. takut sedey lagik. sepanjang bulan tidor meniarap sbb perut asik rasa cramp. 2weeks late, and takut ectopic berulang lagik, buat UPT. alhamdullillah!

october: come clean with my TTC friend. yet still hiding from my own family and friends.

Nov: come clean with our family & friends. and start coping with all those uneasiness.

Dec: still coping. thank you Allah.

maybe agak terlambat utk entry ini. tp sesungguhnya, 2011 banyak mengajar erti TTC yg sebenar. banyak pahit mahit. banyak suka duka.

terima kasih Allah. dan moga tahun ini lebey baik dari tahun sebelumnya.

Amin

Till then,

Again

baru tahu tentang berita sedih sowang lagik member yg kehilangan anak tersayang dalam bulan ramadhan ni. tak pasti meninggal dalam perut atau selepas dilahirkan.

tahziah.

aku bersimpati. dan sentiasa igtlah bahawa anak itu senantiasa menanti di pintu syurga.

ps: aku tau aku tak patut ckp cmni, tp aku nk ckp jugak, jgn riak dgn pemberian Allah, sebab bila2 masa dia boleh tarik balik. wallahualam...

Till then,

Miracle Baby

time lunch, lepak2 kat pantry, bercerita pasal surgery aritu. bla bla bla, 5 in 1 procedure and all. bla bla bla

then, A kate
"uve been tru a lot. then your child IS a miracle baby la kan, since the mother's been tru a lot."

diam jap.
owh, miracle baby eh?

5in1 procedure=miracle baby?

seyes makcik tak penah terpikir ok.


dear my own miracle baby,
come quickly and let mummy finally feel the blessing of pregnancy.
amin..

Not one but two!

got a pleasant news yesterday.

comot is pregnant with twins!

twins ok!

and i am genuinely happy for her.
see, who said ttc people cant get pregnant?

twins lagik.
meh nk add on sket: eh perempuan berlagak cam ko sowang je pregnent & mengata org2 ttc, kau ade??

and to comot:
sile jgn makan mende bukan2 lagik, dan sile tutup telinga bile sesi mengumpat dijalankan, tak baik wooo anak dlm perut ko dgr. :P

Till then,

Mother's Day Surprise

received a parcel today, containing much surprises and loves.
.
.
.
.

it's a gift from Lady in the Mirror.

a surprise gift to be exact, which made me full of wonder,
a sweet gift to be exact, which widen my smile,
a touching gift to be exact, which touch my heart dearly.

thank you Amira @ Lady in the Mirror

----
One day you will see that it all has finally come together
What you have always wished for has finally come to be.
You will look back and laugh at what has passed
and you will asked yourselves,
"How did I get through all of that?"
Just never let go of hope
Just never quit dreaming
and never let love depart from your life
Never, never, never give up!

~Lady in the Mirror~
---

yes,

Mother’s Day is coming up and you WILL survive it.
You WILL get through it.
You are a mother too. You just haven’t met your baby yet.
(quoted from here)

Till then,