Morning Ramblings

i was too busy to bother about chlomid. afterall, its been 6weeks of long sick leave which leaving me tons and tons of works at the office. so yes, i hv no time to think or being sad about it.

though sometimes in the middle of the night, when i still could not sleep, i look at hubby's face and how i wish i have children. how i wish the baby shall follow hubby's eyebrow, hubby's lips, hubby's ears. owh, not the nose please, nor the eyes. (mata dia mata jahat, idung pun tak berapa nk kempis. hahah)

and sadness comes again. rubbing the empty uterus, touching the scar of previous surgery and could not help thinking of how unfateful life is.

in which i know the answer hubby's is going to give me.
"bukan kerja kita kan.. kita bole angkat tangan doa dan usaha je"

yes.
faham.

but do understand the internal conflict inside me.
how it affected me.
the scariest thing a women shall face is when she could not produce babies for the hubby.

sapa setuju?
angkat tangan cam usup (hantu kak limah balik rumah)

but, nk sedapkan ati, there a some people who get pregnant while having chomid (kembar 3 lagik).

only Allah SWT knows how i wish it is twins.

amin.

Till then,