trip to the gynea yesterday was again a waste of money and time.
and y is that?
we spent almost 2hours & half waiting for our turn, only to find out that the egg isnt matured enough, only 13mm (a strong and matured one is normally 15mm) due to the stress put by the gout. mind you the gout was painful hence a lot of stress.
so again, no luck this cycle.
unless He miraculously bless us with one.
amin.
on the bright side, the sperm analysis come out good.
normal reading, tho the doc wanted to have it again, just to confirm the results.
and that put a big smile on hubby's lips.
so, was i the problem?
i did ovulated every month, never did i miss any.
hurm, so which one of us is the infertile?
worried that it is me, i asked him
"do you think that i am the one who is mandul?"
and here's the reply
"u ovulate every month, and we see the egg in the monitor, even the size. i am one big idiot if i think you are the one who is mandul. none of us are. we are simply tade rezeki"
hurmmm.
that answer did not stop me asking myself, am i that bad that god punished us for not having babies yet?
wallahualam,
and y is that?
we spent almost 2hours & half waiting for our turn, only to find out that the egg isnt matured enough, only 13mm (a strong and matured one is normally 15mm) due to the stress put by the gout. mind you the gout was painful hence a lot of stress.
so again, no luck this cycle.
unless He miraculously bless us with one.
amin.
on the bright side, the sperm analysis come out good.
normal reading, tho the doc wanted to have it again, just to confirm the results.
and that put a big smile on hubby's lips.
so, was i the problem?
i did ovulated every month, never did i miss any.
hurm, so which one of us is the infertile?
worried that it is me, i asked him
"do you think that i am the one who is mandul?"
and here's the reply
"u ovulate every month, and we see the egg in the monitor, even the size. i am one big idiot if i think you are the one who is mandul. none of us are. we are simply tade rezeki"
hurmmm.
that answer did not stop me asking myself, am i that bad that god punished us for not having babies yet?
wallahualam,
ya btul.
ReplyDeleteblum rezeki :))
yup...it's not the time yet..thats all i can say at least
ReplyDeletebelum masanya. Allah knows best.
ReplyDeletethere is no matter who's fault it is. yg penting ur hubby still love you and holding hands together in the journey.
ReplyDeletemmg selalu kita fikir camtuh kan. be strong. masih belum sampai rezeki itu utk kita sbnrnye
ReplyDeletebelum lagi sampai rezeki itu..akan datang..be optimist..
ReplyDeletedear all, thanks ok for all soothing comments.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
dont say that mandul word. it is so suwey.! :D hehehe
ReplyDeleteselagi u have a rahim n have both ovaries working, and have eggs, and have PERIODS., than mandul wont ever be the word. i have a fren that is borned without uterus,and have tiny ovaries, and never have periods, but she is so tough utk move on..so we are still lucky tau!
wait, ur gynae kata 15mm tu cukop dah eh...my gynae nak 18mm plg minimum utk ovulate..i penah dpt 15mm, doc ckp 'not enough la'. hmm camana lain doc lain2 ni...konpius dah.
one more, how did u know that u ovulate every month? by bbt or just simply ultrasound? sbb my gynae ada ckp lagi, sometimes kalau hormones tak cukop pon, telor yg dah cukop matang, BOLEH shrink balik. so u have periods, without ovulating.taksure sgt, u can ask ur doc again about this.
bcoz that's what happened to me before.
NO! god never punished us bcoz we are the bad or the good ones, ramai je bini2 org yg lebeh terok perangai drp kita, yg kaki mabok/merokok/clubbing/social dan sbgnya tapi boleh mengandung dan anaknye membesar dgn sihat.
Allah uji dia dengan cara memberi anak dgn mudah. Allah uji kita dengan cara takbagi anak (yet) sebab Dia sayangkan kita. Tak semestinya kalau dia takbagi ape yg kita NAK tu sebab kita ni jahat. dan taksemestinya oranglain dpt anak tu sbb dia Baik.
alamak pjg beno lak aku bebel. mintak ampun :P
ReplyDeletejay: aah seyes panjang gak la. takde perenggan plak tu. hahaha. aah, my gynea kate 15mm for cd14 da ok, tp die kate time paling subur is cd17 (3days after the appointment) but kene babydancing from cd14-cd17) cenggitu la lebey kurang.
ReplyDeletetau ovulate every month sbb mmg every month die wat v-scan nk tgk telur tu matang gak. sbb die risau jd cam previously (yg kene operate tu). sbb possibility org yg da kene akan kene lagik tinggi.
pasal shrink tu, die ade ckp, sbb tu die pesan, jgn stress, stress leads to shrinking of eggs.
eh jap, mane ko tau ur egg shrinks eh?