How it started: Part 2

so we took a long time to have UPT.

big deal, yet a big mistake for us.
and it was a decision made by both of ~to delay the UPT.
having a BFN is unbearable hence by delaying the UPT the chances of having BFP will surely increase, or we think it will. but it doesnt.

as mentioned earlier, it was a big mistake.

so finally, a trip to gynecologist.

crossing our finger, tho it was a BFN, we still hopes to hear good news.

little that we know, our heart are about to be crushed...

.
.
.
.

so i have an ectopic pregnancy.

which the doc could not confirm whether it is ectopic, or syst pregnancy.
weird huh?

what ever it is, it is big, 5x5cm. and it seem to burst.
not entirely at the ovary, nor at the fallopion tube.

but one thing for sure, this is how the doc describe it
"see ur ovary here, it was like ur ovary was swimming beside/inside something else"

which again was weird as they said burst ectopic hurts like hell, while mine just come and go.

either way, it surely crushed our heart. hurt like hell.

and to make things more worse, the doc confirm that my womb was anti-gravity.
whatever that means.

and it may or not happen due to the 'mysterious' ectopic/syst

and also, my lining are so thick, 16mm while normal lining are only 8mm.
it was like it was swollen or something.
so, it has to be scraped.
scraped?
wtf?
again, it may or not due to the 'mysterious' ectopic/syst.


and that, we should have the surgery first thing tomorrow morning.

scared.
i was so scared.
we were scared.

whatever it is, it has to be removed.
and that is that.

(to be continued)

Till then,

How it started: Part 1

though i've proudly announce to the whole world (tru my other blog) that we are currently TTC, the truth was, we had made no effort on the TTC. what i meant by no effort was that no visit to any gynecologist was ever done, meaning no clinically proven that we are infertility.

and why was that?

1. my period was regular. never i experienced no AF.
2. tho we had been married for 15months, the first 3 month, i was only weekend wife while another 3 months after that, monthly wife ( it hurts having husband whom was always aways-job required). after all those chaotic months, we finally lived together (this was since June 2010).
3. none of our family members in both sides ever had issues with infertility.

so, instead of seeking expert's opinion, we simply thought that it was still not our time. HE still thinks we are not ready. qada dan qadar. what we should do, is to be PATIENCE.

I hv to admit that despite of those patience bussiness, i did cried every time AF come knocking. and it made me sad seeing my husband face when i told him
"sorry darling, we are not pregnant this month. i'm so sorry".
saying all this and broke down crying at his shoulder.
yeah, we do that a lot.

all that and we finally agreed to see gynecologist this year. to be exact, on march. if we still could not get pregnant ourselves. maybe 2011 could bring good news to us.

furthermore, the last time AF come knocking was 24Dec2010.

24Jan2011- no AF. owh maybe i was a lil bit late.
31Jan2011- still no AF. but it was only 7days late.
9Feb2011- still no AF. and sadly BFN
11Feb2011- finally, a trip to gynecologist

funny how fate could plays us.

(to be continued)

Till then,